TurdWords and TurdTechniques used by
shady listers.
(Hereto after referred to
as "TurdListers")
.
Catch and Hype words\phrases
Many of us see it, but it
has become so commonplace that many are no more aware of it than they are
than the fact they have on underwear (or don't) at any given moment throughout
the day.
.
Catch or Hype words and
phrases along with sometimes even outlandish claims are the most common
form of Technique in use. Here's an example (highlighted to illustrate):
.
Listing Title: Ibanez-Aria-Gibson
turd guitar
Subtitle: Rare one of a kind custom
made, gotta see!
.
Description:
Exquisite VERY
RARE LAWSUIT Turd guitar, Custom Made
by Aria in the Ibanez Factory! I have
before. Just try and find one of
these SUPER RARE HARD TO FIND LIMITED HAND MADE
Turd guitars.
go for $1,000,000 just a couple
of months ago! This model was made just like one made for Louis Armstrong,
Frank Sinatra, and Pete Fountain. It's 99% original except for the tuners,
pickups, bridge, nut, knobs, pots, cavity covers, and finish!
.
Well, you get the picture
anyway. My example is aimed primarily at Japanese Guitar listings, but
it's everywhere, and spreading like a virus (or one of those damn chain
letter e-mails people are forever-and-a-day forwarding). Anyone doing their
homework will soon find out that Aria and Ibanez were produced and distributed
by two entirely different manufacturers and distributors. I'm not saying
a guitar is not rare, but I find it rather hard to believe SO MANY are
rare. Kinda demeans the word, doesn't it?
.
Just think (reality check
here), If every "rare" guitar claimed to be so is truly "rare" then sooner
or later one is left to wonder if EVERY guitar is rare. The sheer number
of more common "un-rare" makes and models would be abundant enough to give
one or more of each model to every person living, right? I guess that sheds
new light on the phrase "Japanese Guitar Invasion". :-) |
.
Misidentification through non-indentification
or obfuscation (blowing smoke)
I see many claims that pickups
are DiMarzio, when in fact I know otherwise simply because I know what
I am looking at. Just because a pickup has all hex pole pieces DOES NOT
mean it's a DiMarzio! It simply means it has all hex pole pieces, that's
all. Unless the back is stamped "DiMarzio", it likely isn't. By the same
token, not all chrome or nickel covered humbuckers are PAFs.
.
Often TurdListers will mix
fact with fiction in an effort to obfuscate the truth hoping to blur the
lines between the two and lend undeserved credibility to the listing. It's
true, some listers are unaware of the inaccuracy, but then again, it's
their responsibilty to be accurate and leave the guesswork to professionals.
.
TurdListers also rely on
the fact that something may not be well documented, and if it's not, surely
that means it IS "rare" or "custom". Often a little homework on the potential
bidder's part will reveal the fact that Mr./Mrs./Mz. Turd has their cranium
firmly inserted into their brown-eyed monster. 8-o |
Keyword Spamming
TurdListers have become
ever more creative in their keyword spamming techniques, although many
still lack the creativity to get past the folks like myself that have come
to expect it, and yes, even watch for and feebly attempt to filter it out.
.
One method is to feign ignorance:
"I don't know if this guitar was made by Aria, Ibanez, Gibson, Westbury,
Jackson, Charvel, Guild, Gretsch, Cortez, Cort, Westone, Epiphone, Univox,
Crestline, Crestwood, or Chrysler."
.
Other variations include
"I've played...", "I've owned...", "I've seen...", and many others. It's
simply a ruse to get past listing rules and inject as many keywords as
possible. Others even go so far as to spin tales, yarns, or stories peppered
with the keywords.
.
Another technique that's
as old as the hills is hidden text:
.
Below is a blotch of HIDDEN
KEYWORD SPAMMING using white text on the white background so even though
you are searching for something else totally unrelated their turd pops
up in your search results! Don't believe me? Click and hold your left mouse
button on the word "here" just below and drag the pointer to the word "there"
and watch what gets highlited!
HERE--->
joe
satriani, los lobos, clapton, mick mars, robert cray, lee ritenour, martin,
kendrick, les paul, les paul jr., robben ford, hendrix, rhoads, garland,
zakk wylde, peavey, marshall, epiphone, jeff beck, armstrong, frank marino,
allman bros, derek trucks, humbucker, dimebag darrell, stevie ray vaughan,
srv, van halen, gretch penguin, jaco pastorius, danny gatton, kenny wayne
shepherd, johnny ramone, electro harmonix, zz top, billy gibbons, prs,
guitar, barry richman, vince lewis, larry carlton, paul mccartney, johnny
hiland, barney kessel, john jorgenson, larry coryell, aerosmith, joe perry,
ventures, al caiola, pizzarelli, steve vai, marty stuart, yngwie malmsteen,
eric johnson, ted nugent, byrdland, earl slick, jimmy page, fender, ibanez,
carvin, telecaster, l5, super v, flying v, super 400, rickenbacker, hofner,
335, luthier, wes montgomery, joe pass, tal farlow, dave navarro, mike
stern, grant green, led zeppelin, stones, vox, chet atkins, king, black
sabbath, ozzy, dave matthews, john lennon, beatles, george harrison, benedetto,
jimmy bryant, dick dale, charvel, jackson, phish, who, charlie christian,
warren haynes, michael schenker, boss, chorus, distortion, ts-808, albert
lee, mxr, compressor, flangers, ada, jeff healey, stray cats, steve morse,
django, santana, rush, bruno, ampeg, wah, 846, clyde mccoy, gruhn, martin
taylor, robert johnson, robillard, johnny a, bass, drums, lugwig, rogers,
slingerland, sonor, premier, pearl, dw, elvis presley, roger mayer, purple
haze, octavia, dod, billy sheehan, paul gilbert, frampton, guild, maccaferri,
gypsy jazz, bloomfield, rick derringer
-->THERE
That was taken from an actual
listing! Hmmm. It may be against listing rules, but it doesn't get noticed
unless someone knows to look for it, sees it, and mentions it. It sure
makes it a pain in the rear when you've got to sort through the turds to
view the legitimate listinings your're searching for! I have one question
for keyword spammers: Did you add "ImAJerk" to your keyword list?
If you find this annoying
and have now learned why other junk comes up in your searches and how to
spot it you can report it HERE.
the more people that report it the less often it will occur, and the more
accurate everyone's searches are. |
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Just remember a few simple rules and
you're bound to improve the odds in your favor:
If it looks like a . .,
chances are it is.
Wherever there's a .
there's always an 
involved.
(If you can't trust the
listing, can you actually trust the lister?)
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